Mocha's Traumatic Episode

I know it's been a long time since I've written anything here. It's been pretty hectic around our house for the last couple of months. But today I have a story to share. I just can't help myself. It's gross, so be prepared. But it's FUNNY-gross. 

This is my sweet little Mocha dude. Today's story is all about him. Well, a little about me and Lex, but mostly about Mocha.

Mocha had a minor surgery last week and has been wearing The Cone of Shame, to keep him from licking his sutures. He has been pretty slow about learning to maneuver through the house without ramming into walls or choking himself on the couch cushions when he tries to jump up on them and catches the edge of the collar.

So today Lex and I had an appointment that lasted most of the day. When we returned we were greeted by a funky odor and a very excited Sassy, but no Mocha. I assumed he was lounging on our bed, 'cause he's been spending a lot of time there lately.

As we walked further into the room, I saw that Sassy had pooped next to the dining room table. (She occasionally has accidents when we are gone for too long.) I figured that was the nasty smell, so I held my breath and cleaned it up and went to dump it in the toilet. As I approached the bathroom, I peeked in the bedroom and didn't see Mocha on the bed, which kind-of surprised me. 

I turned around and noticed that the bathroom door was closed most of the way. At the same moment, Lex was walking up behind me, also looking for Mocha. We glanced warily at each other and I reached over to open the door and immediately gagged as the most noxious stench I've ever smelled hit me straight in the face. 

There sat Mocha in The Cone of Shame, which had a small smudge of poop on it. He had something I can only describe as a horrified expression on his face. There was a gigantic pile of squished dog poop on the rug in front of the vanity where he was sitting. As I opened the door, he came tearing out past me, poop dangling from his butt and pieces of it flying off his paws in all directions.

Horrified, we managed to corner him and Lex put him out the back door while we attempted to clean up the spatter in the hallway. Then she attended to cleaning his rear-end while I ventured back into the bathroom. Stepping in the doorway, I found poopy paw marks all around the toilet, a splattering of it on the front of the toilet as well as on the back of the door and another smudge in a single, straight line - obviously from the collar - on the bathmat that hangs on the ledge of the tub.

I swear to all the gods there are that I have NEVER in my life smelled anything so disgusting. Seriously, I have changed a lot of baby diapers in my lifetime and absolutely nothing has compared to this. 

Mocha & The Cone of Shame in the (now-clean) bathroom